he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
