a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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