i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
