Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
