that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
