She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize
