I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
