im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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