It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
