Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
