There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
