On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
