She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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