I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
