Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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