That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
