Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
