I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
