If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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