do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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