the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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