You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
