I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
