he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
