Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
