Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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