I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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