D3 body, D1 cock
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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