first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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