I'm really into asian looking animals
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
