you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
