I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dick very happy bro
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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