the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
There's even glitter on my cock...
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