We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
