A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
