she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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