just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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