This dress was meant to end up on your floor
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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