Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
