My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
