We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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