He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
