with your own penis?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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