is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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