I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
