I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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