we have pet lesbian snakes
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
