So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
