i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
