I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Shame is for Republicans.
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