Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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